Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Now I am Living on the East Coast

I'm crying into a big zit. The city of Providence. I'm thinking I should have stayed on the West Coast and lived in a tiny shrine. The shrine would be in the yoga studio of a famous software developer. My duty as the inhabitant of this West-Coast shrine would be to sit, drink offerings of kale-apple-mint-parsley juice, and draw construction plans for passively-heated shrines. These shrines would be installed everywhere on the West Coast and would be the West Coast. Eventually the software developer would find a way to love himself in a non-competitive, non-judgmental way, and he would attribute his self-respect to a deity represented by me. I would be worshipped by insecure software developers and would spend all my time channeling their insecurity into undifferentiated warmth and compassion, and this, by providing an unlimited supply of passive heating, would solve the energy crisis.

Thank you, thank you, but I am in Providence and nothing is solved. Empty lots where trash accumulates on both sides of fences are beautiful in late autumn. I go around thinking about different parts of a pig I could be eating. I feel unusually fertile and consider pouring my blood into an empty lot, to remedy the soil. When I do eat the part of the pig I most resemble, I crave something else, meat from a different part of an exotic animal accessible by way of New York. On these unusually fertile days in Providence I feel as if I'm hiding out in a hideout of New York, and the hideout is run by Italians who may just decide at any time to stop picking up the trash and processing sewage. So I consider making a trip to Seattle for a composting toilet. I'll also pick up some raw buckwheat-hazelnut granola and kale-apple-mint-parsley juice, and I'll drink it without worrying about the fact that Brassica (kale) are planted to remedy high-lead soil. I won't worry at all about my blood-brain barrier. I'll sit in a yoga studio overcoming the mental and physical barriers I perceive between myself and the people and objects around me. 

I'll become a software developer by overcoming the barrier between myself and the software developers around me. No, I'll become code in the latest update to the most popular social-networking site, and I'll be a glitch in that code that causes every user to friend every other user, obviating the need for anyone continuing to use the social-networking site except as a repository of collective friendship. This will cause a financial meltdown/spiritual-redemption scenario on the West Coast, leading to self-discovery seminars led by meditation gurus who will have reconciled in advance the differences in their lineages that previously kept them apart. Breathwork will ensue. Slowly the economy will rebound. MoMA will invite me, a code, a glitch, to do a retrospective, "Retrospective of a Glitch", and the articulated muscle groups of small muscular New York socialites will toast me. Near the end of my usefulness to this milieu, I will return to Providence where I will accumulate along the ground between the sidewalk and fence surrounding an empty lot that is beautiful right now.


At October 14, 2010 at 7:55 AM , Blogger mork the delayer said...

I'm thinking of it as mitigation more than remediation. I like the passive heating bit though.


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